My poor car. So it's been a while since the last update, which seems to be the case with every update. Once again, a lot has happened, so we'll start at the top:

• I started a new job working for the biggest marketing firm in South Dakota, which has been interesting. Now I'm learning Coldfusion, which is like VBScript for secretaries (with Java!)
• My wife and I moved to Colton to a bigger, better house, in a community w/ a population approximately thrice the size of my college graduating class.
• I hit a deer and nearly totaled my car on Halloween. Trick or Treat!
• Lastly, I finally gave in and got a twitter account. Show the love and follow! Also, check out my delicious bookmarks to see what I'm up to and care about (hint: nothing).

So here's my full deer story: it was the very last load of our move to Colton, mostly just garbage we didn't want to leave to the next residents (despite the glut of junk left behind in the house we're moving into). I'm following my wife, staying back a few car lengths, when suddenly the beast rises from the darkness of the ditch.

According to the deputy, I was the third person that night, which was pretty good. At any rate, no one was hurt. I lost a headlight, banged up the hood and side panels pretty badly, and collapsed the front grill and bumper. The appraiser put the damage at ~$3,700.

So yeah, I was pretty happy that I opted for full coverage. The deductible stings, but it's doable. Otherwise, I'd probably be working in one of the many elevators in town.

The big news, of course, is that I've finally opened up the Songs Section. To start, I've just got a small collection of songs and other audio I've recorded through the years. It's not a lot, but if response is good, I'll try to add more. Being the open-source, free-IP loving hippy that I am, I've made all of the songs Creative Commons licensed, so please download and share to your heart's content (with a few restrictions)!

Otherwise, I've also put up an online portfolio, which is something I've been meaning to do for years. Well it's finally here. You can look at it, but it's not particularly entertaining.

And finally, here are some other things I'm too lazy to turn into paragraphs, so I'll just bullet point them in true PageOfBob.com-style. Remember, PageOfBob.com loves numbered lists, and numbered lists love PageOfBob.com.

• Going to Texas tomorrow for a family reunion. I enjoy seeing my Texas relatives, but I have to admit I'm not looking forward to the 12-14 hour drive down, and the 12-14 hour drive back. I also imagine people at the hotel are not looking forward to seeing me in swim trunks.
• We've been married a year! Here's looking forward to many more years of trying to break each others' spirit!
• We got a Wii Fit! My mom actually got it for us as an anniversary gift (thanks mom!). Unfortunately, dispite days of rigorous balance games, I'm still not fit — though I have lost a few pounds since I started. The best part about the Wii Fit: the fatter you are, the fatter your Mii is. My Mii can barely walk!

That's about it. Have a good Fourth everyone, and remember: if you're shooting off fireworks, blow some stuff up for those of us who are too cheap. Also, if aliens blow up the White House, just upload a virus from your Mac into the alien mother ship's mainframe. That always works.

The title of this update comes from a random email I recieved. The title is the entire contents of the email. It was awesome.

So, a lot has happened since my last update. Because I am lazy and hate read long paragraphs, I have broken those happens down into bullet-sized chunks and listed them thusly in a bulleted list.

• I made a new short, called The Band. It's about a guy and his band. It's brought to you in a new, slightly larger format. I hope to serve up all new content in this slightly larger format. Be sure to check it out.
• Holly got me a Wii. It is awesome and I'm not afraid to say so.
• I dropped my keyboard and the spacebar stopped working on the left side, so I had to get used to spacing with my right thumb.
• I dropped my keyboard again. Now the spacebar works. Now I have to go back to spacing regularly.
• I finally fixed my desk so I'll stop dropping the keyboard.
• I'm dividing most of my free time between the new online ordering system for Davidson Photography and some contract work, so, sadly, no real Hammers progress.

Again, I don't have time for a full update, so instead it's time for a Page of Bob End of the Week Or So Round Up: a quick listing of awesome or notable things that have happened in the last week or so:

• I spoke German to an actual German. As many of you know I've been slowly learning German; this was the first time I'd had the opportunity to speak w/ a native German speaker. She tried to explain to me where the bathroom was (in German), but the only word I understood was links, which means left. Conclusion: if I ever get to travel to Germany, as long as everything I need is on the left, I'm golden.
• On my morning walk to work, I inadvertently walked right by an old guy peeing on a truck downtown in broad daylight. It wouldn't have been so shocking had he not been within half a block of at least 4 public restrooms. Maybe he just hates trucks. I just hope he never develops a disdain for high voltage transformers.
• My wife purchased a new professional, large-format photo printer for her photography business. It's roughly the size of a VW Bug. Seriously, it's two feet long, one foot deep, and at least 8 inches high making it probably 50% larger than the computer it's attached to. It's like someone strapped a monster truck to the top of their Yugo hatchback, which is inexplicably awesome. It prints pretty good too, I guess.
• I inherited an accordion! And a car.
• I started making progress once again on Hammers. And now, as part of my need for more organization on that project, you can track my progress on the hammers progress page.

And finally, I'll end this update with a random thought that was so ridiculously emo that I had to share it with you all:

I would like to travel to a land that speaks no English. I desire this not because I wish to be alone in world of people I can't possibly understand — for I already am — but rather, because I wish to at least feel there is a reason for it.

No time for a full update. I just wanted to mention that the play seems to be doing pretty well and the audience seems to be enjoying it. We had a responder (who basically watches the show and gives us notes) at last night's show and his response was very positive. So if you're in the neighborhood, you've still got one chance to see it (assuming you're not reading this after 7:30PM on Saturday).

I also wanted to post this observation:

I should have included the time I leave stage, when how badly I have to pee or fart drops instantly to zero (for some strange reason).